Graceful Under Fire

candlelightI named this blog “Graceful Under Fire” about two weeks ago.  Little did I know that if ever there were a time to be that it would be now.

I’ll make this one short.  And serious. Here’s what I think at 3:37 a.m the night after our children were massacred.  The night after this happened something like 15 times this year.  The night after “its one too many” (please God), and  the night after this time it really, really is  “WAY too young and innocent”, too much for us to bear anymore.

I think we need to be careful.  We need to be outraged. But we need to be careful.  We can and should feel anger but we need to be careful.  We need to be shocked and also to grieve.  We definitely should be disgusted and sad.  What do we do with all this anger?  Punch a pillow, shake your fist at the sky, at God, or whatever.  Its important to allow our feelings first.  Then allow it to be transmuted to love.  And do I dare say, even for the guy who shot them.  Because if he had felt any kind of love or connection, there is absolutely no way in the world that he could have done what he did.  Love is the antedote and the cure.  Love is the way out of hopelessness and despair.  I listened as newspeople labeled him a “monster” and a “madman” and it made me wonder how many times he might have been called one or felt like one in his life, until he just reflected back what he felt inside.

It’s incomprehensible to us that one of our own species can do the unimaginable because as humans we know we never, ever could.  And so we can only make sense of it by calling him names that dehumanize him.  It just doesn’t seem like humans should have the capacity to do this.  Because we are human and that is not like us.   Yet we know we do.  History shows us this. The current times shows us this.  Then again, perhaps he was just plain “sick” or maybe even evil.

And so, in either case or whatever the case –  beyond turning our rage into love – for God’s sake,  let’s do something in this country about the guns and the mentality that goes with it.  So when there are people who have lost their way in this way they cant get their hands on one.  So our culture stops viewing violence as an ok way to solve problems,  So we can stop feeling like we have to be so defended all the time.   So we don’t lose one more child to the actions of a child already lost.  And so maybe, just maybe, we can actually keep a child from becoming lost.

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12/12/12 – Waiting for the Download

12.12.12Its 12/12/12.  Today is the day.  Its finally here.  End of the beginning.  Beginning of the new.  Day of “Ascension”.   The gateway for the transformation of human consciousness from fear to love.  It seems like it should be a big day.  Like a holiday.  Like stores should be closed or at least having a sale… or it should be a day off of work,  and celebrations should be rampant. Like New Years or something.  I don’t get it.  Where is all the hoopla? Why don’t more people get this??

I wasn’t sure I got it either but realized a few days ago it was almost here.  Not one to like surprises,  I thought if something cataclysmic was about to go down I better get more informed.  That would give me time to prepare.

So I researched.  Thank God for the internet because it makes research so accessible.  I learned about the crystalline grid and the Mayan calendar and Ascension and the symptoms that go along with Ascension.

That’s a story for another day but all I can tell you is every weird symptom that I have had in the last three years that no doctor can explain and that I have been chalking up to my Lyme disease (or something like that) was described in the list of Ascension symptoms.  To include – funny hearing, burning/vibrating/tingling body sensations,  shimmering vision, imbalance and fuzzy thinking.

Then there’s the non-physical strangeness like lights flickering when I walk by them and tvs turning on spontaneously in the middle of the night.  I learned that maybe this was just a bunch of energy shifting in my body as I “ascend” from one level of consciousness to another.  Akin to a radio tuning into a different frequency.

My system is literally “rebooting” – or so that’s what my “research” said.  I’m sure my doctors would not like this explanation and would think it hazardous to my health.  But it gave me an odd sense of peace.  Thinking of my body like an energy field in motion with some disruption but all for a good cause.  I can live with that a lot easier than Lyme disease (groan…ugh)

Anyway the other thing I learned from my research was that during this period between 12/12 (the gateway) and 12/21 (the threshold) to this new age,  a lot of important information was going to be transmitted.  Its not something you are going to get on the evening news however.  There isnt going to be any big Presidential announcement.  And I don’t even think God is going to appear with something like the Ten Commandments – but you never know—and that’s probably a little closer to the kind of means of transmission that’s going to occur.

No it will just come through somehow if one is ready, is listening and has clear enough channels to receive it.  I have no idea if I am one of these “beings”.  I do know that I have been having lots of symptoms that would suggest I’m headed in that direction however. But on the other hand,  I havent been so good at “raising my vibration” in other ways – although I try with some yoga here and some meditation there and eating some healthy high vibrational foods along with my wine and coconut ice cream.

But honestly, I just havent made it my focus.

Nevertheless, once I became aware of it,  I found myself really wanting to get this “download” from the cosmos or wherever its coming from.  I kind of thought it might have something really important to say and I didn’t want to miss out since 12/12/12 only comes around once every hundred years and I wont be here for the next one and Im pretty sure 2012 is a once in a lifetime, millenium kind of occurrence.

Mayan calendars dont begin and end but once – ever- I think???  I kinda wished I had been preparing sooner  for it but it just didn’t seem to have the same sense of urgency as it does today.  So I got my favorite leather bound journal out with pen and got ready to transcribe because I heard that when it comes our mind wont be able to contain it.  So here I am, “Waiting for the Download.”  I’m not quite sure how one does that but if there is a procedure and I’m supposed to receive it I’m sure I will know or be guided in some way right?

So that’s what I am doing today.  Waiting.

And in my doing so, I can tell you this.  I’m not sure if it comes from the “download” or not.  But here’s what I’m thinking.

We are all connected.

We are all magnificent beings.

We are all like colors of the rainbow – made of different colors and shades all creating its beauty, none it good or bad, right or wrong.

We all deserve to be loved.

Love is where its at and love is all you need.

And beyond that its all just an adventure that can be a lot of fun if you let it and look at it that way.

Maybe it didn’t need to be 12/12/12 to know that.  Or maybe the download is already uploaded and always has been.  Its just a matter of playing the program. Either way, while I’m “waiting” one thing I don’t have to wait for is this  — in a word just to be LOVE.

With that, I think download (or not) – complete.